Proven Ways To Become a Likable Person
Romans 15:3, 5-6
Introduction:
NAME ONE PERSON THAT NOBODY LIKES IN THE BIBLE?
NAME ONE PERSON THAT EVERYONE LIKES IN THE BIBLE?
There is an attitude, a mindset, that all who are yearning for heaven without exception must adopt. We see this mindset when we look a Jesus and His life. We find that Satan in heaven warred against this mindset and instead choose the position of pride, it is really where the great controversy is fought each day in your mind and it is the point where spiritual victories are won or battles over our nature are lost — this attitude, the mindset, or you might say the character trait that I’m talking about is “Humility” — A willingness to take last place that another may have the seat of honor, that’s humility. It’s a heaven-born mindset where consideration for others, supersedes our own desires, that’s humility. A willingness to confess your sins, admit your wrongs, recognize your mistakes, take ownership for your weaknesses and faults, to recognize, validate and praise the successes of others with no ulterior motive to get credit, validation, or praise for yourself — that’s humility. These are the ones who will inhabit heaven! Listen to who the Bible says will dwell with God:
Isaiah 57:15 (KJV)
For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name [is] Holy; I dwell in the high and holy [place], with him also [that is] of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
We find that before there ever was sin, heartache or a devil — This character of humility and selfless love pervaded the courts of heaven— and brought to heaven light, and joy, and peace, and perfect unity.
“It was the joy of the heavenly host to fulfill the purpose of their Creator. They delighted in reflecting His glory and showing forth His praise. And while love to God was supreme, love for one another was confiding and unselfish. There was no note of discord to mar the celestial harmonies.” — Patriarchs and Prophets, 35.
How many of you long for the day when “no note of discord” would be found in your home? We don’t live in that sort of world yet do we? There are fights, disagreements, unhappiness — and what lies at the root of all this disunity? — The spirit that is opposite humility — Self-centered pride! A desire to be right, to be first, to have the last word, to be understood before seeking to understand, to be great, to have my rights, my opinion, my convenience considered before I consider anothers— and all this brings in troubles that cause discord for sometimes years in a home, when 1 drop of humility could’ve solved the problem in
5 minutes.
Humility, spread a contentment and joy in heaven in the beginning that we desire in our lives today… And it is a law straight from God’s throne that an attitude of Humility will safeguard your happiness and peace, and it is true that rejecting humility for the sake of some selfrighteous cause will just as surely destroy the same happiness and peace you seek to preserve.
[Pro 29:23 NKJV] 23 A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
[Pro 16:18 NKJV] 18 Pride [goes] before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.
at long last the Bible says that to neglect the humble road, and to seek only self-interests — what the Bible calls PRIDE — will lead us to hell.
[Mal 4:1 NKJV] 1 “For behold, the day is coming, Burning like an oven, And all the proud, yes, all who do wickedly will be stubble. And the day which is coming shall burn them up,” Says the LORD of hosts, “That will leave them neither root nor branch.
So friends the war is real, and so are the outcomes of this war. Heaven awaits the Humble, and Hell for the proud. — and you and I can see which side of the war we are on at any given moment, in any given argument or dispute, we see it in the private moments of our life — when imperceptible to other human ears or human eyes, we glorify self or put self aside for the sake of others in our heart. There are two systems of thought at war each day in our mind, and the Apostle Paul speaking to Christians living in Rome admonishes them — Let Christ win the war, by taking on His mind:
[Rom 15:1-3, 5-6 KJV] 1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please [his] neighbour for [his] good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me. … 5 Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: 6 That ye may with one mind [and] one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
But how do you chose the mind of humility and think of your neighbor for his good, when it feels like your own life is so bad? When you feel like you got the short-end of the stick — when your health plummets, when your economic situation crashes, when your relationships fray, when your temper & emotions flare —how then, in those moments, does one take their eyes off of self when self is screaming for your attention? When your thirsty soul feels like it needs attention, validation, support, and love — how do you then turn in those moments and despite your own deplorable condition minister attention, validation, support, and love through a character of humility to others?
Or when you face an argument with someone else who you consider proud, arrogant, and filled with self — how do you admit your mistakes and faults and take the road of humility when no one is role-modeling humility for you? Here’s the answer:
YOU CAN’T — The flesh is too weak for YOU to do it… Christ must do it for you and through you…
“Education, culture, the exercise of the will, human effort, all have their proper sphere, but here they are powerless. They may produce an outward correctness of behavior, but they cannot change the heart; they cannot purify the springs of life. There must be a power working from within, a new life from above, before men can be changed from sin to holiness. That power is Christ. His grace alone can quicken the lifeless faculties of the soul, and attract it to God, to holiness.” — Steps to Christ, 18.
[Job 14:4 NKJV] 4 Who can bring a clean [thing] out of an unclean? No one!
[Jer 13:23 NKJV] 23 Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? [Then] may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil.
We are as powerless to live a life of humility before God and before our fellow men as a fruit tree is to produce carrots & potatoes… Humility is produced when the heart has been surrendered to Christ — and the life and power of Christ is manifested in you. Every time we chose to lay our pride in the dust for the sake of others, for God’s glory, or for the sake of righteousness — these moments are a declaration that Christ abides in us — for the fruit always bears witness of the root.
[Luk 6:44-45 NKJV] 44 “For every tree is known by its own fruit. For [men] do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 45 “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Paul, in speaking to the Philippians about the humility that must govern their lives, reveals how this humility takes root in their heart and mind that it might bear fruit in their lives. He says:
[Phl 2:5 NKJV] 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
You need to know that in every situation we have a choice of which thoughts will dominate, which ones we will meditate upon, which thoughts will we cherish and bring to our soul. We have thoughts from Satan, which he first instilled to start the rebellion in heaven — oh and how strong these thoughts come… He whispers in your ear “You have not been treated as you should, your rights have been trampled on, you don’t owe it to anyone to apologize, don’t you know your opinion is right, just look at how selfish the other person is being right now….” and on and on he prods you with these encouragements towards nourishing thoughts of self until he has you in an utterly miserable position where he can effectively work through your calloused words and actions to ruin the happiness of another.
But at the same time, there is always that still small voice from God that beckons us to resist the devil. The voice of the Lord that calls us gently towards humility — and offers to us the road of peace if we will but let go of our own mind, and instead accept the mind of Christ… “Forgive the one who has wronged you” says the voice of God’s Spirit, “Give the injustices done to you into my hands, and let me make it right in my time” says the voice of the Father, “Let your confessions fall from your lips, apologize to the one who now is so rude, and find in my forgiveness, and freedom” says the voice of Jesus. And if we are willing to yield to the voice of Christ in these moments — He will place His mind in us!
[Phl 2:5 NKJV] 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
If you don’t resist it, if you but yield to the sweet influence of the Spirit of God, the mind that resembles the enemy will be replaced by the mind that resembles Christ. This is captured in the word “let” we could also say “Allow this mind to be in you” — It is true you can not exhibit true humility in the most trying circumstances without Christ — we are powerless to change our own selves, but it is also true that in those moments Christ is near, and we can choose to let the voice of God’s Spirit prevail, and we can choose to give Him our will and allow His thoughts to dominate over the self-focused thoughts….
“You cannot change your heart, you cannot of yourself give to God its affections; but you can choose to serve Him. You can give Him your will; He will then work in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure. Thus your whole nature will be brought under the control of the Spirit of Christ; your affections will be centered upon Him, your thoughts will be in harmony with Him. Desires for goodness and holiness are right as far as they go; but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Many will be lost while hoping and desiring to be Christians. They do not come to the point of yielding the will to God. They do not now choose to be Christians.” — Steps to Christ, 47.
You could say, that those who exhibit humility in their life have surrendered to Christ — They are “letting this mind be in” them… When we want to fight for our rights, when we want to go to war to preserve our good name, when we are ready to slaughter with our words the ones we love just so that we can hear them say “you were right”, we are declaring that our faith is not upon our Savior and that we do not truly believe that the mind of Christ will bring us the happiness we seek, that happiness, peace, and a life of joy is up to us to fight for— and yet we find again, and again, and again that without the mind of Christ we are only working against ourselves — chasing a phantom of joy that always seems just out of reach! You can only meet with eternal loss without the mind of Christ, so “Let this mind be in you”…. and this is what that mind, the mind of Christ, looks like:
[Phl 2:6 NKJV] 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with
God,
Let me parse this verse for you: #1 “Form of God” = Jesus is equal to God by right! No angel, no person, no being in all the universe had the right to be God’s Son except Jesus… He alone could claim this title, and it was His rightful title.
#2 — “Robbery” comes from the greek word “Harpagmos” which means “to seize by force”, or in a relational sense “to fight for”, “to grasp”…
That means that Jesus — who Himself was equal with God, sitting RIGHTFULLY in the highest position of heaven, did not view His position, His title, His power, His rights as king of kings and Lord of Lords something that He had to fight for, but He LET IT GO!
He let go of His right to a title, He let go of His right to the throne of heaven, He let go of His divine power, He let go of His equality with God — and was made a human (Still divine by origin having no beginning or end, but limited by the incarnation of His human flesh)
[Phl 2:7 NKJV] 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, [and] coming in the likeness of men.
Did Jesus fight for His reputation, His good name? Did He feel a need as king of the universe to come as king of earth? No, the Bible says the mind of Christ did not make His reputation His focus. So if Christ wasn’t caring for His reputation who was?
The Father was caring for Jesus Reputation at His Baptism:
[Mat 3:16-17 KJV] 16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: 17 And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
The Father cared for the reputation of Jesus at His Transfiguration:
[Mat 17:5-6 KJV] 5 While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him. 6 And when the disciples heard [it], they fell on their face, and were sore afraid.
Jesus didn’t need to focus on His reputation, for His reputation was given into His Father’s hands.
[Jhn 18:36 KJV] 36 Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.
Jesus could’ve fought for His rights! He told Pilate His servants would fight if He wanted to fight for position, power, titles — Jesus even said that legions of angels would be at His side to fight if He wanted them:
[Mat 26:52-53 NKJV] 52 But Jesus said to him, “Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. 53 “Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?
The temptation to fight for His own position, to give up this mind of humility, was more fierce for Christ because He knew that He could win any war over His honor that He decided to fight — but Jesus willingly laid aside all titles, all positions, all worldly honor and praise, all need for validation, all cravings for recognition, all needs to hear from His accusers “you were right, we were wrong”… He did not fight for it!
Rather the Bible says the mind of Christ led Him to the position of a servant.
[Phl 2:8 NKJV] 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to [the point of] death, even the death of the cross.
Where did humility lead Jesus? — To lay down His life for others. Was it fair? Was it just? Was there anyone who gave an example of humility to Christ when He chose to humble Himself before them?
And it wasn’t just any death — but Jesus was willing to accept the death by crucifixion, that according to the Bible He could save to the uttermost those who cry out to Him for salvation…
Jesus willingly took the lowest position, — that there would not be one on earth who was so low, so lost that they would be out of His reach… and remember the Bible tells us that Jesus chose the cross — He chose the lowest position. At least twice the Jews tried to kill Jesus by stoning:
[Jhn 8:59 NKJV] 59 Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.
[Jhn 10:39 NKJV] 39 Therefore they sought again to seize Him, but He escaped out of their hand.
[Jhn 10:17-18 NKJV] 17 “Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. 18 “No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.”
Each time, Jesus did not allow Himself to be executed in this fashion. The cross was for criminals, the cross was a position of shame, the cross was public, the cross was the lowest position a person could be in on this earth.
[Gal 3:13 NKJV] 13 Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed [is] everyone who hangs on a tree”),
Those who hung on the cross were not only going to have their life taken, but they were accounted as cursed by God. But here Jesus is — hanging on the Calvary, cursed by God for us who actually deserve the curse. We should be the ones that are cut off… We should be the ones who are barred from heaven… we should be the ones to have tasted the death when God withdraws His life from us… But the mind of Christ was willing to bear even this that we might be saved!
This is our example of true humility — and it is this road of humility that we will walk, and all must walk, who will inherit the kingdom of heaven… But what a reward awaits us both now and in the end…
[Phl 2:9-11 NKJV] 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and [that] every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ [is] Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Jesus had no pattern to follow, and yet He blazed the trail of total submission and complete humility that we might see the true path to eternal joy and happiness. You see friend, Joy and peace do not come from fighting for our position, they do not come from holding high our opinion, true contentment and unity with our brothers and sisters can not be found in the stubborn halls of high minded pride. We only find the happiness, peace, and joy we want in life when we chose to humble ourselves before one another and before God, and then we too will see that God will lift us from the ashes of despair and set our feet on higher ground.
[Isa 61:1-3 NKJV] 1 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to [those who are] bound; 2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
Appeal: Are you compelled today to humble yourself in the sigh of the Lord? Perhaps there is someone in your life who you have been holding yourself above — maybe pride has been keeping you back from making a needed confession — perhaps you to feel justified in your position and opinion, and today to realize that more important than your position is the path of humility.
Today, we can come to Christ just as we are and choose to “Let this mind” be in us which was also in Christ Jesus. Think of the humility of Christ and let it attract your soul to heaven.
“Jesus did not consider heaven a place to be desired while we were lost. He left the heavenly courts for a life of reproach and insult, and a death of shame. He who was rich in heaven’s priceless treasure became poor, that through His poverty we might be rich. We are to follow in the path He trod.” — Ministry of Healing 105.
Scriptures and Quotes
Introduction:
Isaiah 57:15 (KJV)
For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name [is] Holy; I dwell in the high and holy [place], with him also [that is] of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
“It was the joy of the heavenly host to fulfill the purpose of their Creator. They delighted in reflecting His glory and showing forth His praise. And while love to God was supreme, love for one another was confiding and unselfish. There was no note of discord to mar the celestial harmonies.” — Patriarchs and Prophets, 35.
[Pro 29:23 NKJV] 23 A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
[Pro 16:18 NKJV] 18 Pride [goes] before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.
[Mal 4:1 NKJV] 1 “For behold, the day is coming, Burning like an oven, And all the proud, yes, all who do wickedly will be stubble. And the day which is coming shall burn them up,” Says the LORD of hosts, “That will leave them neither root nor branch.
[Rom 15:1-3, 5-6 KJV] 1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please [his] neighbour for [his] good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me. … 5 Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: 6 That ye may with one mind [and] one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
“Education, culture, the exercise of the will, human effort, all have their proper sphere, but here they are powerless. They may produce an outward correctness of behavior, but they cannot change the heart; they cannot purify the springs of life. There must be a power working from within, a new life from above, before men can be changed from sin to holiness. That power is Christ. His grace alone can quicken the lifeless faculties of the soul, and attract it to God, to holiness.” — Steps to Christ, 18.
[Job 14:4 NKJV] 4 Who can bring a clean [thing] out of an unclean? No one!
[Jer 13:23 NKJV] 23 Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? [Then] may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil.
[Luk 6:44-45 NKJV] 44 “For every tree is known by its own fruit. For [men] do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 45 “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. [Phl 2:5 NKJV] 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
[Phl 2:5 NKJV] 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
“You cannot change your heart, you cannot of yourself give to God its affections; but you can choose to serve Him. You can give Him your will; He will then work in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure. Thus your whole nature will be brought under the control of the Spirit of Christ; your affections will be centered upon Him, your thoughts will be in harmony with Him. Desires for goodness and holiness are right as far as they go; but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Many will be lost while hoping and desiring to be Christians. They do not come to the point of yielding the will to God. They do not now choose to be Christians.” — Steps to Christ, 47.
[Phl 2:6 NKJV] 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God,
[Phl 2:7 NKJV] 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, [and] coming in the likeness of men.
[Mat 3:16-17 KJV] 16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: 17 And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
[Mat 17:5-6 KJV] 5 While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him. 6 And when the disciples heard [it], they fell on their face, and were sore afraid.
[Jhn 18:36 KJV] 36 Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.
[Mat 26:52-53 NKJV] 52 But Jesus said to him, “Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. 53 “Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?
[Phl 2:8 NKJV] 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to [the point of] death, even the death of the cross.
[Jhn 8:59 NKJV] 59 Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.
[Jhn 10:39 NKJV] 39 Therefore they sought again to seize Him, but He escaped out of their hand.
[Jhn 10:17-18 NKJV] 17 “Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. 18 “No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.”
[Gal 3:13 NKJV] 13 Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed [is] everyone who hangs on a tree”),
[Phl 2:9-11 NKJV] 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, [Isa 61:1-3 NKJV] 1 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to [those who are] bound; 2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
“Jesus did not consider heaven a place to be desired while we were lost. He left the heavenly courts for a life of reproach and insult, and a death of shame. He who was rich in heaven’s priceless treasure became poor, that through His poverty we might be rich. We are to follow in the path He trod.” — Ministry of Healing 105.